+

I have lot of problems lately and I don't why, they just came up to my very door and knocked at the same time. Problems from my side job as an online shop owner who have to deal with this carping customer, and problems from surround me. I heard too many negative thoughts and opinions and stories, so I become like this freakin' afraid about the world I live in.

I believe that if you keep telling a person something negative and ugly and bad, that person will become negative minded even if the world around that person is in the positive aura. It's like you've been brain washed or something.

And I also believe the vice versa. If keep telling a person everything positive, s/he will get used to think a positive side of a thing or problem. And it will affect everything in your life: your health, your emotion, your happiness, everything!

This is what I just realized and I am about to learn. It's not easy sometimes to keep on balance, stay positive everyday and everytime. But I was in a position of being a victim who heard so many negative aura and I didn't enjoy it. I just don't want that thing happened to other person I bump into in the future. I must stay positive, speak positive words, act positively. ++++ :)

So stay positive everyone! If you don't get used to it yet, well..start to get used to it. You'll never go wrong with that, believe me :)

Brave & Wise

What will you do if you get bored? You probably will try something new,something challenging,something risky. And now I am in that situation. I have a good job,but sometimes good isn't that good anymore to me. I have a great boyfriend but the same routine every weekend bored me. Then I want something new, something challenging, something risky. Now the question is, how dare you are to take the risk of something new?

For example, I've been trying to run a small business of my own beside my main job as a secretary. I owned an online shop in facebook and most of my products are Pre Order system. It means that I have to collect a down payment from my customer in one period of time,then I ship the order from cina and HK. In conclusion,I do not have to cash any money in advance. I pay the products to my supplier after the customers pay the rest of the DP.

Now I have another challenge and risk all in one. I know this store who sell accesories for girls such as fashion earrings,bracelets, necklaces, phone straps, etc. I've got great price and I want to make it my new online business. But the problem is I have to pay in advance. I have to ready stock it. It means there is a risk (and I don't how big is the risk) that the accesories aren't sell well. I honestly afraid of that. But I keep telling myself that that's a business! There are risks and you should take it. Suck it up!

Well yeah, it's not that easy to suck it up. I also have a plan to take cooking and baking courses. Maybe someday I will open my own bakery or something.

Gosh, making money is hard. It's way so much easier to spend it. I guess I should be wiser to spend my money on something. Or maybe I should be more brave to take the risks.

Well, I should be more brave and wiser in the same time. You know it's hard -.-"

P.s: I have this new addiction,suteki's take away sushi. They have great taste of sushi with great great price! Love it ♥ !
Sent from my AXIS Worry Free BlackBerry® smartphone

A Sweet Birthday Song

Years ago, I heard this audiophile version of birthday song sang by anonymous aka I don't know who's the singer and the title. But the lyric is magical so I listened to the song carefully then wrote down the lyric and of course it's not 100% correct. But few days ago, like I forgot all this time the magic Google can do, I browsed the lyric by typing one line I'm sure it's correct. Then voila! it's The Birthday Song by Corrinne May. It's a wonderful birthday song with great lyric. I would love to sing that song to my particular birthday who really really deserves it :p

I have a massive headache and sleepiness so I'm gonna sign out. Will write something later! Ciao!

p.s: today is the first of October. time fliess :D A good good friend of mine is going to come home to Indonesia this early Oct. I'm soooo excited! Long time no see this dude :D

What's The Best

You won't realize that someone loves you that much until you experienced one. And I just realized it yesterday and it's about my recent boyfriend. He came to my life years ago as a friend, and years later he came to my very life as a boyfriend. And I feel safe with him, he knows me well in and out and you rarely can found someone like that in your life. And the most amazing thing he keep telling me is " I accept you the way you are". It sounds cliche, I know, but I know he meant it too. He keep telling me to eat a lot of food so I get fat until there's no man flirting on me or me flirting on them. Well..

I had a bad experience of love years ago, when love wasn't for me and him but I kept the faith (read:stubborn) that someday eventually God will give us a chance.But believe me, when God said no, then it's a no. If you keep your stubbornness, you'll block God's best way for yourself. The words "everything has a reason" is true, even though I know it's hard to understand what's the reason is. All you need is keep on walking until God tell you to stop (read: real and true faith), and He will ask you to look behind your back. You want to know what I saw when God told me to do it? I saw that I've been very stubborn not to let go and it didn't help me to get through my trouble. I finally I knew there's someone better waiting for me allllll the time. He just waiting for the right time to come to my life and ask me if I let him to love me. It's like God is trying to say "Here's someone best for you. Not him in the past". The past is exist so you can learn from it so you'll do better in the future. So if the right person come along, you won't do the stupid mistake again.

And this man who come to my life and ask me if I let him to love me,....he doesn't give me the whole world like the lyric in the love songs. He just give me his world to me. And I know it's somehow bigger than the whole world itself :)

I could not ask for more. This is perfect.

Inspired to be Inspiring

This picture was displayed in one of friend's blackberry messenger contact. And his name is Edric Chandra. And I asked him, what is it? Is a magazine article or something? And he said yes, it is a profile article of Popular Magazine. I didn't know what's Popular, well it doesn't sound like popular to me. He said it's a grown up men magazine. Oh..well.

Anyway, I asked for the softcopy to him and he sent me to my email. I read them and I was like astonished by it. For those who don't know this guy might be astonished at the first time they read about he become a cigar manager at Wismilak. I knew that a long time ago. And it's still make me astonished though.

But what make me astonished more is his vision, they way he sees things. I don't know how he doing it, but he always see a different way, a different path, and out of ordinary, out of everyone else. I always know what he want, and he always find a thousand ways how to reach what he want. He always take the quirky weird extraordinary way to live his life.

In that article he said that he was inspired by his tukang becak the most. And I inspired by him the most. I knew this guy from junior high school and I surely learn a lot from him. I have this principle that in every troubles and every obstacles, there are ways to get through it. He tought me to not easily give up, to fight what's worth fighting for, no matter hard it is. He tought me to pierce the impossibility. And believe it or not, it's become a part of me now. So yes, if he was influenced by tukang becak, then I was influenced by him.

You guys should read this article about him in Popular Magazine September issue. This guy, is beyond amazing. And Edric, I am so much proud of you!

Check his facebook page: Edric Chandra and follow him on twitter: @EdricChandra

Getting Onboard

I just drove my sister on her way to New Zealand at 3.30 in the morning and I found myself hard to sleep.So I decided to write an entry,since I have this thought in mind.

I had a conversation with my boyfriend about marriage and engagement thing (it's a light and short conv.) and it make me thinking about several things.

How do you know when you're ready to get married?What is the sign?Well,except the financial factor and personality of course. What I'm trying to say is getting married is not that simple as getting married. It means (at least for me), that you're about to leave your "present" home and family and about to live in a "brand new" home,and maybe with other family.Now what it may seems to be a problem is..you're not that easy to leave one home to another home right?When it comes to home,it means that you found a place where you can be safe,relax,peaceful,a sactuary. Remember the phrase,there is no place like home.You just don't call a place:home,easily.It takes time.This is the sign maybe..are you ready to leave your home for over than 20 years and move in to a new home for the rest of your life?

It's not only a house that you will leave,it's family.Your family.You live with your family for over than 20 years but the next day you move out and never see them again as much as you did.

See?Move out from your "present" home and "leaving" your family to creating a new family isn't easy.You have to be ready.

And you know what, I'm not ready.Maybe it takes 1 or 2 years more for me to be ready. I'm sure time will tell :)

Sent from my AXIS Worry Free BlackBerry® smartphone

I Smell Holiday

Finally I can have my holiday starting tomorrow!I'm going nowhere which is suck because I usually can't stand boredom.I need something to do and I might end up watching dvds or read books or sleeping or just sightseeing at the mall.
The funny thing is,I kinda miss my work.I just started my long holiday but I missed my office already.I miss my boss (in a normal way of course),my colleagues,my desk,my high speed wireless internet connection,my notebook,and else.I think I'm too attach with my work so once I have my long holiday like this,I will feel there's something missing.
I've just realized too that I love my job.It's not challenging as I expect but I love it.I imagine myself if someday I must quit from my job,what would I feel?It already become my daily routine,and it's kinda hard to leave it.

I hate goodbyes,really.they suck.
But every ending has a new beginning,that's what people say.so every goodbye has a new hello.and every hello means a new chapter,a new day,a new challenge to be tamed.

Right? :)
Sent from my AXIS Worry Free BlackBerry® smartphone

In Law

I helped my boyfriend's mother to make a baked macaroni with bacon and cornet last night. I was quite surprised the first time because she was not only made that baked macaroni my herself, but also with her older sister and close friend IN her sister house. So I met the big family of my boyfriend which for me is kinda frightened. I never met my ex-boyfriend's family before so I felt a little bit uncomfortable last night, in a normal level.

I had an experience which made me learnt a lot about how to be polite but still be yourself to other person/group especially boyfriend related. I made a big mistake years ago where I didn't give my fully respect to my ex-boyfriend's family. I didn't realize it I was wrong at the first time. And it left me a big regret also. But I try to learn from the past so I can be better in the future.

So this is it, I face yesterday quite successful. I said hi to everyone, I offered my help cut the bacon, to slush the cheese, to crack the eggs. But the most important is I start the small talk. You can't keep in silent forever. People will think you're a loner. By start a small talk, you try to blend with them. Well, at least they know you try.

I have a secret how ease the uncomfortable part when you meet your mother in law to be: it's the power of your mind. Keep remind yourself and keep this in your head that s/he (the parents in law to be) is just human. Don't think that they're your parents in law. Just think that they're persons, your close friend's parents/family member who need to be respected. I mean, you have to respect everyone right? Make no different in your mind.

If you respect everyone no matter who they are, then you have no difficulties to respect your parents in law to be. :)

In a short words: Be casual with them. You'll never go wrong with that.

Anyway, my mother in law to be made me two baked macaronis.I love her selfmade baked macaroni. But since I saw it myself the ingredients, I think I better think twice before I consume it.

It contains: a pack of long macaronis (high carbohydrate), 2 pack of cheddar cheese (high calories (and calcium of course)), approx. 10 eggs (cholesterol! cholesterol!), 2 carts of milk (thank God it's low fat high calcium), a large pack of beef bacon (there're too much preservatives in it), and cans of beef cornet.

And this is i: 2 BAKED MACARONIS WITH BACON AND BEEF CORNET made by my boyfriend's mommy for me

Look delicious right? ;p

Till Death Do Us Part

I had this nightmare few nights ago. It was a blur but the feeling was real. I felt scared, I felt losing something. Something scary so that I can't even say it right now. And it leads me to one statement, that you don't know how it hurt to lose someone you love, until they're gone. I heard this statement million times, but I never truly understand the meaning. But now I understand, and it changed me since then.

I remember when I was 11 or 12, I cried in silent in my bed one night, pretending what if my mother and father is gone? Who am I gonna be with? What if I am left all alone just with sister and brother? And that thought made me very much frightened and all I can do was crying and crying.

And few days ago, I had the same fear. I had a bad dream and it led me to feel the same fear all over again. But this time, I am afraid I'm going to lose my mother since my father passed away when I was 13. I fully realize that everyone is going to die someday somehow. And I'm just afraid that someday it happen and I feel like not ready to face it. First I'm afraid I'm not ready to be alone without her, and then I'm afraid I haven't good enough to her. I owe her millions and for me the best way to pay it back is now, before she go back there, if you know what I mean.

And that thought, unconsciously, leads to how I treat her. I treat way much better. I keep remind myself that that's the only and best way to pay someone who really deserves it from the beginning. She's been fighting for me, defend me, love me, take care of me, educate me, and protect me. Like I said, I owe her millions.

I don't want to feel regret, I avoid that. So I try to appreciate what I have and try to keep it well. I believe the best way to made it up to someone is by treating them right. I won't complain if I have to drive my mother somewhere. I won't complain if she ask me to do something boring. I won't complain if I have to pay something I don't buy but for her. I won't complain as I start remember how much I am going to miss her when she gone someday.

And it make me to change the way I pray. I prayed a lot before this. I ask for an answer for my personal matter. I ask for many things, but for myself. But now, I only pray for one thing. I ask God to bless my family, my mother, my brother, and sister, and the home we live in. I don't ask God to bless me at all. I just ask Him to bless my family. I do this because I have my eyes opened that my family is the only certain thing I have, the only real thing I can hold on to when my world is dissapear. Besides, I know God will bless me even when I don't ask him to.

All I'm saying is if you realize how much the time worth especially when you are with someone you love. Not only parents, but your lover, husband or wife maybe, your brother, your sister, your children. Time flies so fast and sometimes we don't realize it.

We think we still have so much time. But I tell you, we don't.

There's nothing certain in a man's life except this: That he must lose it. ~Aeschylus, Agamemnon

500 Days Of Summer

Have you watched this movie?You have to watch it, especially for girls! This is a sweet, touching, yet it is light movie :)

When I watched this movie for the first time, I felt light. This movie is almost like a fairytale about reality. This is a story that could happen to all of us. You met a person, you fell for them, but it didn't worked out well. You have tried again, but it failed anyway. After your heart-broken period is over, suddenly you're bump into someone that you know, s/he is the one (again).

Personally I love the main actor Joseph Gordon-Levitt (love love him so much), he has this charisma thing with him so everytime I see his smile in the movie, I just melt away :p

But I love Zooey Dechanel too. She is super sweet, weird (in the movie),and so vintage! OMG, her outfits on that movie is so 80's but she fits it!

In the movie, Summer chose the other man to be married with, instead with Tom. When Tom asked why, Summer said that she finally knew about her husband what she never was sure about Tom. That leads me to a question, WHAT IS IT? What made you said that "you sure about your husband, but not with Tom"? Tom is sweet, he is kind, he is sweet and kind and everything!

So if Tom claimed that he already found the one on Summer, but Summer didn't felt the same way, meaning they're not the one for each other?

If it's a yes, then it's clear that someday soon we'll find the other right person, just like Tom found Autumn, right? :)