Jan 26, 2011

Oei Hui Lan

I remembered that one sentence from Oei Hui Lan's biography book "Kisah Tragis Oei Hui Lan Putri Raja Gula Asia Tenggara dari Semarang" or in english it will be "Tragic Story of Oei Hui Lan: Daughter of South East Asia's King of Sugar from Semarang". The Biography is about Oei Hui Lan, who had everything women in this world ask for. His father is the richest man on South East Asia and she was lived as a princess almost her entire life.
But at the end of the story she said as she quoted Chinese old saying that "no feast last forever", and so did her extravagant life. At the ending of her book, there's one sentence that catch my attention. Well, almost all of her story catch my attention by the way. But this is what catch me the most to the very deep. She said, " Now I finally understand why my father (after he married his favorite mistress Lucy Ho, he changed his lifestyle from glamorous as a king into a way more simple. It is because the more we aged, the more we ask for a simple life and what it is. "
As she grew up and became older, she chose to move into an apartment instead of a big house in the time she was 50s. And as she grew up she realized, that money itself can't buy happiness. It can buy anything that make you happy, but it won't last. In fact, she stated that her loyal dogs were the ones that made her happy.

So I'm thinking and I truly understand one thing. Money does important but it won't make you happy at the end. Being with people you love and doing what you truly enjoy are the things that makes you happy. If you die one day, you won't bring your diamonds, golds, deposit accounts to your grave. It will stay here while you're gone to only God knows where.

I saw this one man when I queue-ing at the bank this morning. And suddenly I was comparing myself to this man. He is around 40-50s years old and his shirt is too big for him. He seems like wearing it randomly. He doesn't think about being stylish and modern or maybe being neat. Wearing a shirt just to cover his body is his only purpose. Meanwhile me on his other side, I woke up this morning and think what to wear to work today. I mixed and match my shirt and pants, I have to decide what shoes I want to wear and else. Being stylish and look neat is important to me and still I want buy another stuffs like bags, shoes, gadgets.

I thank God the moment I am contemplating this kind of thoughts. I thank God for being so good to me. I have a home even if it's not like a palace. I have the greatest and bravest mother even there is no father on my side anymore. I have my brother and sister even if they're so annoying sometimes, they're the one you always make up with no matter how often you're fighting with each other. I have a nice job I ever know, even if I'm not a director or manager, but I enjoy my job and my boss and my work environment. I got a nice amount of monthly salary, even it's not in billion rupiahs, but it's enough to support me all this time.

I don't have everything like Oei Hui Lan. But like she said herself, "I wrote this book for the world to learn from my experiences." She married to a man she never loved, her husband left her at the end, she had to watch one by one her son, father, mother, sister dead and she was left all alone with her dogs. His father gave her everything she want, she had uncounted money, diamonds, golds, and properties, she traveled the entire world, but all of that can't buy her happiness at the very end.

What make you think your money can do the opposite?

Jan 13, 2011

C'est La Vie

Some random thoughts just crossed my mind and I don't like it. Well I think I'm being a temporarily melancholic person. I am going to tell a story about myself and what me and my family have been through all this time and I am going to tell why I'm telling you this stuff. You may not like it, but I believe some people may take this as a life lesson, to be more grateful and learn to not asking more than you already had. Somehow, I think I owe God this.

I am talking about my mother and how brave she is to be a single mother for almost 10 years now. My dad died because of heart attack when I was 13 and my youngest brother was just in the first grade of elementary school. It was a horrible shock time for me and my entire family. My mom especially was the one who shocked the most. I was a pre-teenager who didn't know nothing but the fact that I am no longer have a dad. My mother had to shut down my dad's store at Banyuwangi because she thought it would be imposibble to go Surabaya-Banyuwangi back and forth all the time, it takes 7 hours to go one way. My mother had to find another way to make a life for her family. With a broken heart and full of confusion, she had to figured up what do for living. Thanks God my mother has a great talent at cooking. So she started to offer her fresh frozen dumpling products to some supermarket in my city and she did it herself. She inovated another products but like life which is like a roller coaster, sometimes the supermarkets shut down my mother's products. I must say, I wasn't easy.

On the other side, I grew up and as a teenager at that time, I realized now that I've been such an ass for my mother. Sometimes I made my mother sad, I made her angry. And as a teenager, I was looking and exploring myself and my identity and I didn't realize that I hurt someone who really already sacrificed a lot for me.

I believe that every girl in this world have their own hero and many of them say that their mother is their hero. Nothing's wrong with it, only for me, I have billion reasons to make my mother as my hero.

People said, if you want to see the clearer view, just try to walk in front and the look back. You'll see everything more precise rather than see it at that moment. You won't realize what you did was bad today. But maybe tomorrow you'll flashback to today and realize that you were wrong.
I was bad for years to my mother as a stupid teenager, and I see it right now. I see how hard she fought to get up and to keep on walking even your heart was broken and your mental condition was down. I see how strong she become until today, how all the obstacles she's been through make her today. She did it all..cooking, working money, raising her children, teaching them, loving them, fixing things. She is a real single mother.

Then I wonder, she won't be here by my side forever. One day, God will take her and I will left alone. What would I do if the day come? Am I prepared? Am I strong enough to walk this life alone without her? Whether I realize or not, I always run back to her for almost everything. She is the first person I run to if I need help. But if she isn't here anymore, what would I do?

I try to place myself into her position as a single mother with 3 little children. I don't have a husband to count on anymore, I just have to fight and do everything by myself. Then I tell myself that I am pretty sure I can't do it easily.

These long thought lead me to one thing. It's all because of God's grace upon me and my family. He took my father to make everything better. He took my father to teach us how to be strong and solid as a family time after time. Most of all, He took my father to show me that He's the Almighty..the one and only. He teach me how to fully surrender because everything happened and everything not happened in my life is because of His permission.

He knows me, He knows what happen to me and He let it happen because He himself teach me, train me to be a better and better person everyday.

It may be sound too much for some people but don't worry, one day God will come into someone's life from a different door. He may be straight knock to my door, but He may be go silently through your ceilings. You never know.

Another one thing for sure, if your time come and God want to involved to your life, you can not escape. Just invite Him in, share your problems with Him, and let Him guide you.

Be thankful for everything you have, it was there only because of His grace.

Jan 5, 2011


Greetings everyone, happy new year to you =D
How's your new year's eve? I hope it was AWESOME!

Mine was a little bit simple this time, just had dinner with some of friends at Boncafe and went to Hare and Hatter, sipped a cup of Twinning tea which was very relaxing btw.

Come near New Year, the waitress at Hare and Hatter distributed trumpet for all of us and they invited us to go outside because there will be fireworks. And the fireworks was super pretty! I always seen fireworks from distance and I usually just said, "well okay it's pretty". But that time, the fireworks was lit up right in front of us so the fireworks was actually above us. And it was very pretty, I must say.

I took some pictures! =)

This is the source of the fireworks

Me and my bf :P

one of my friend asked to be pictured with the fireworks LOL

Happy New Year from Hare and Hatter, everyone! :D

I wish that this year 2011 brings you better in everything. Still do your best, be better with yourself and other people, and let God do the rest :)

Shine on!