Mar 12, 2010

Journey To The Past

Have you ever haunt by your own past? Wherever you go, it follows you. You can't escape, you just can close your eyes and pretend you're not see it. But it there. It always there, in front your very eyes.

I try to forget it. And I thought I was. Until lately it bothers me again. I keep thinking why it has to be happened?Why You let it happened? You just can erase the feelings, and it didn't have to be happened and hurt both of us for the second time. But it happened. It hurt both of us, and left me with a big scar, something anybody can't heal. Even God. It only gets better, but not dissapear.

But once or twice these days, I've taken to the past for a while. It's still painful, and I know I don't want to go to that time anymore. But one thing I can't ignore, I still care about the subject related. I want him to have a great life, move along, and be happy. I do wish he has that, I do wish he know that I want that. In fact, I know something sweet between us that once or twice happened in our life can never be ours. I have to let go, I have to give up, because I have no choice.

I have to move on myself. I am now being with someone that cares a lot and I love him. He is my lover and also my best friend. I am thank-ing God for that. I just wish that this time, I have my luck to go onboard with him until forever. So I don't have to sink again, for the second time.

Letting go is really a hard work. But if you have no choice, well maybe you just have to pass it anyway. Eventhough it means that you have to get out from it, half alive.