Yesterday morning I went to the cemetary for an annual ritual for most chinese people in Indonesia called "cingbing-an". We usually do this on april month but this year, my family was a little bit late. We went there to visit my great grandparents, my grandparents, and my father who died almost 10 years ago. I never knew or met my great grandparents (I wasn't born yet at that time) and I never had a chance to know my grandmother from my mom.. She died when I was a little. My grandpa died when I was about 10. Both my grandparents died when I was young and still didn't know how to appreciate well.

Just like I said on the previous previous post, I don't fear death. When you're gone, you won't feel anything and you won't bring anything at all with you. You just leave to somewhere and I hope that's a better place to go. The most tragic part from death is the feeling of losing that felt by
the people who still lives.

And when I visit my grandparents' graveyard and my dad's, I missed them. When my grandfather still alive years ago, me and my family went to his house at Lawang every sunday. I played with my cousins and of course my mom visited his father. But I was very little back then so I kinda "ignored" my grandpa. All I thought at that time and what I thought everytime we went there was just like a daily routine and nothing special. I rarely talked to my grandpa and that's what I regret the most today.

What I'm trying to say is I wish I could turn back the time. I wish God gave him a little more time to live, wait until I realize what and how to appreciate things I have before it's too late. And now I miss those who loved and already left me. I miss having a grandpa and grandma. I miss having a dad.

I wish I have a chance to show how much I love them too.

Appreciate what remains in your life. Appreciate and give thanks for every little tiny things. Appreciate your good boyfriend even he's boring, for example. Appreciate your loving husband even he has a lot of weaknesses. Appreciate your parents because they are the only ones and irreplacable. Appreciate your family because they're your home. Appreciate your good friends becauae they might become a place your share your akward jokes and they're still going to laugh about it. Appreciate your income or salary, that's a share God want to give you. Most of all, appreciate yourself becauae by doibg it so, you're actuakly appreciate Him who created you from the very beginning :)

That's how you defeat the sad feeling you felt from death: by appreciating what you have remains.



- Posted from my iPhone

Fairly Fair

I recently watched this new american tv series called Fairly Legal. I knew this series from a friend and then I downloaded the first pilot episode. The story is good, the actresses and actor are pretty and handsome (I like those who played Lauren Reed and Justin :$), but what catch my attention the most is Kate Reed's job as a mediator. And being a mediator is different than being a lawyer. Being a lawyer, you have to take side. Being a mediator, you take no side but make sure both sides being the winner in some way. You can't say it's an easy task, everyone have their own story, ego and need to be win. And as a mediator, you have to break them all and start over.

As I watched this show, I started to think that the job Kate Reed have is a fun job to do. It sort of describe me in the way I control a problem between two parties. In facing a problem and find a solution, first and above all, seek for the truth. What happened back then, ask from all the parties and ask them to tell their version. After you get the clearer view of what really happened, start asking them what each party want from this case, what they expect to have or to get from this. It will help you to 'read' their mind to see where their mind leads to.

After that, you can make a conclusion of what really happened here then offer them the solution that you think is the best and fit and proper for everyone. Like a win-win solution..

I believe in the power of negotiating. If you have talent in negotiating or if you like to negotiating (simple example: you like to bargain when you buy something :p), you should give it to practice. Negotiation skill is practicable, it's have to be practicable...not just a theory based on the book. Sometimes you have to bluff, yes. But in order to do the bluffing, remember that you have to know something they don't, see what they don't, predict what they don't.

I had a negotiation class back in university but I already forgot it right now. I'm not an expert too but I like to negotiate for goodness. I like to be a mediator even just for simple case.

Remember this: before and during the negotiation process, setup your highest expectation and your lowest level of standard. Your highest expectation means your ultimate goal to be achieved and your lowest level of standard means the the ugly result you will probably get and you won't go deeper on a negotiation if you already reached that level. Simple example: the seller offer you something for 10 dollars. You set your highest expectation to 4 dollars and your lowest level of standard to 8 dollars. It means you actually want to buy that thing from the seller in 4 dollars. But if the seller give you the thing for 9 dollars, you won't buy it because it's more that your lowest standard which is 8 dollars.

Well that's what I learnt from my negotiation class.

Negotiation is kinda fun, if you know the rules and how to play the game.

But negotiation is more fun if everyone in the room is go out happy..just like in Fairly Legal.

Boss' Birthday

Yesterday is my boss' birthday and we celebrated it with a simple birthday lunch at La Rucola along with his wife and my colleagues. And since its the second birthday of my boss since I worked here, all the brilliant surprise ideas we used to have just..gone. So we planned a simple surprise this time: we bring over the birthday cake to the restaurant and we simply celebrate it there.

The birthday cake is probably the most "wow" thing yesterday because we brought an ipad cake with sudoku and finance application icons. A cake like this is pretty and cute, too bad we can't eat the icing since it's too sweet and can cause you diabetic.

The food I ordered at La Rucola is the other "wow" thing. One of my friend told me that La Rucola has the best black squid ink pasta. So I ordered and tried it. The taste is not bad, but it cost me all my lips. My lips are instantly black. For the complete review of this dish and the restaurant, visit myfoodism.blog

Job 5:17-27

Everybody need their own way of comfort when they sad or feel burden. Some will do it with having so much fun with their friends, some will cry to take out what's heavy inside. But some people will looking comfort by praying, reading verses, and try to apply it.

I would like to share a section from the Holy Bible (since I am a proud Christian) which makes me feel safe and feel the comfort from our Mighty Creator. It was His ultimate promises for Job (Ayub in Indonesian version), and I believe it's His ultimate promises for everyone of us too. It's taken from Job 5:17-27, and if you read the section very carefully, all He want from us is only one single but important thing: do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. And you certainly going to receive the rest of the verses. May you feel blessed too, just like I do :)

"Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For He wounds, but He also binds up, He injures, but His hands also heal. From six calamities He will rescue you; in seven no harm will befall you. In famine He will ransom you from death, and in battle from the stroke of the sword. You will be protected from the lash of the tongue, and need not fear when destruction comes. You will laugh at destruction and famine, and need not fear the beasts of the earth. For you will have a covenant with the stones of the field, and the wild animals will be at peace with you. You will know that your tent is secure, you wll take stock of your property and find nothing is missing. You will know that your children will be many, and you descendants like the grass of the earth. You will come to the grave in full vigor, like sheaves gathered in season. We have examined this, and it is true. So hear it and apply it to yourself"

Dream Wedding

When it comes to wedding, I always think about the basic..the essence of wedding itself. In country and especially for Chinese people in Surabaya, it's very common to have a big celebration of love. It means there are hundred or even thousand of invitations, decoration that cost as expensive as the hall, lots of entertainment, and else. They hold a big wedding party and most of the times, the bride and the groom don't know all their guests. Mostly they only know some, and the rest are their parent's guests. And the biggest pain when you hold a wedding like is become an object of interest. The groom and especially the bride is going to be very exhausted since she has to wake up around 3 in the morning to do the make up and hair do, then they have to do the Chinese ceremony with the tea and cinciu (you know, give drink to the elders to show respects and blessings) and else, then go the church, then the photo shoots, the cinciu again, then the party. I don't know with them, but I certainly not going to enjoy it.

And I don't know why, I don't like that kind of wedding celebration. For me, a wedding celebration doesn't have to be extravagant. Sometimes, less are more. The essence of the wedding actually is the celebration of love, which actually can be celebrated in a very simple but sacred way. It's the promise you made at the altar is the most important thing above all.

Me myself, I love to have a simple but sacred wedding. I don't need thousand of people in my wedding, I just need those people I love and care and that include the families and close friends. I also don't need lots of entertainment, celebrating my wedding with my loved ones is the pleasure I love to have. All I say is, sharing one of your biggest day with few people you love is the biggest happiness you can experienced.

Well that's my dream but of course in a wedding we don't consider our own opinion and desire, but our couple too. But I still wish one day, I will experience my simple but gorgeous wedding.

It's going to be the most wonderful time in my life :)

FYI, these are e list of alternative love songs you can play on your wedding celebration ( I have checked the the lyrics and they are really fit for wedding):

1. Your Love - Jim Brickman & Michelle Wright
2. Be My Only - FM Radio
3. It's Not a Dream - Sharon Corr
4. They Bring Me To You - Joshua Radin

Because It's Not Ready Yet

One of my friend has this one prayer, to meet the one who destined to be her soulmate. She ask for it so bad, until she didn't realize that the way she asked for it was very.....kinda pity. I once experienced the same thing. I was single back then for 4 years and I have to admit that being single for that period of time is not comfortable. Somehow, no matter how strong you are as a person, you need someone to share something with, to share feeling with. I asked for a person who can understand me, someone I can be comfort and safe with. Unfortunately, that kind of person I was looked for is not easily found. I believe there are few people in this world who can fit our criteria, who has the spark as we have, who has the same amount and formula of "chemistry" as we have.

Of course, I prayed a lot...asked God to answer tons of my prayers. But He stood still and didn't answer. He let me be alone and met bunch of wrong people. I didn't know why He did this and why he didn't answer what I was asked for. Even if He had a reason not to answer my prayers, I didn't get it.

Four years went by and He made me coupled up with my present time boyfriend. It's funny how it happened because I never expected it all at the first place. But it happened anyway in His will. And that's how my four years "loneliness' ends.

As I take a look my life backward, I can see something that probably my friend I told earlier didn't realized yet. I think was ready to meet my "someone" back then. Four years I've been waiting and I think I was ready. Well maybe I was ready...but my "someone" wasn't. Maybe God already answered everytime I prayed, but I didn't even try to listen to it. Maybe God was trying to answered me, "You just need to wait for a while, because your someone didn't ready yet..I need to prepare him so he'll become the best he can be when he meet you."

If you believe there is a time for everything, there is a time for death and born...

why can't you just believe there is a time He willl become your Mighty matchmaker?

Chris Medina: His True Love Story

I recently just watched one of the American Idol's episode and my tears fell down. It was because of the contestant, Chris Medina his name is, had the most beautiful but tragic love story. He has a fiancée and they've been together for 8 years and engaged for the last 2 years. But two months before their big day, something bad happened. His fiancée got an accident which caused her a traumatic brain injury. That made her in a coma for a month or so and after she woke up, she was half paralyzed.

Instead of run away from her, Chris chose to stay and take care of her fiancée along with her mother. He came to the audition and he sang The Script's Break Even beautifully and unique. I was impressed by his story, his braveness, his gentle and responsibility senses. He said at the end, " What kind of man I be if I leave her in the time she need me the most?".

That's my fellas, is a prove of true love.

If you are in a good condition, good health, and you're in good wealth, love is just perfect and sweet. But the best test of love is this: Will you still be there for him/her if the troubles come like Chris Medina did? He could run away from his fiancée if he want to, but he chose to stay. That's make him a hero, that's make his the most beautiful man in the world.

"To have and to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part."

Watch Chris Medina's audition and story here

Impulse of Thought

I don't know why some people, in an absence of knowledge, choose to keep the absence instead of to fill it. Like one of my experience..in September this year, I am planning to go to Malaysia with 3 friends of mine. I've never been to Malaysia before so I'm kinda afraid I will lost there. And it's not funny if I lost there because it's not your home country. So in my absence of knowledge about Malaysia, I've decided to browse on the internet, didn't know what will I get. Amazingly, I found a lot of great websites which can show me the shopping centers, how to travel via coach and fast train, and else. I know what hotel that suits me, what food I should eat there, and else. Now even if I've never been to Malaysia, when one of my friend tell me something about Malaysia like Sungai Weh or Purduraya Station or Sentral KL station....I know what they're talking about! If you ask me about the price of the bus ticket, I can answer you!

This is prove that even if you don't know anything at all about one thing, but if you have a will to seek and learn that one thing, you'll find it.

I don't believe there are some people who were born stupid (well unless they were born with physical and mental disabilities), they are lazy to move their ass or too lazy to, at least, trying to find out about something.

If you are willing to look for an answer, you'll find it somehow.

All you need is a little impulse of thought actually.

Happy 24th Birthday, Me!

Today is my birthday. And as usual, it's still not my favorite day of the year. Well you should be thankful for the day you were born, and I am thankful for everything in my life. It isn't perfect but it's enough to make me appreciate it. And this time of the year, my colleagues make a surprise for me in the way I never expected at all! One thing for sure, I am glad :)

This is the VERY creative crown my colleagues made me. And unexpectedly, there is a picture of me with an ugly pose and my boyfriend yet with an ugly pose in front. Also there are two chopsticks glued to the crown and they glued a Sushi Tei and Suteki logo to it. I don't know why they doing that, but that's very...very unexpected.

This is the whole surprise from them. First there is a very cute birthday cake for me. There is a female patissier surrounded by cakes and donuts and else all made from icing sugar. There is mini lily flowers near my name which is very lovely. If you're happen to spot an apple itouch or iphone near the cake, well it's fake made from cardbox or corrugated box or something. Very funny.

Last but not least, my boyfriend gave me (the real) Apple itouch as my birthday present this year!!!! I am really excited and I can;t wait to play it all day long :D

Anyway, this whole birthday stuffs make me realize one thing. It's not the surprise or the gift that I expect on my birth day. Above all, I want to be near with my beloved ones. My family, my best friends, my boyfriend, my colleagues...those who remember my birthday not because there's a reminder from facebook or you read someone's birthday greeting for me then RT it.

But the surprise and all others makes me know how much I am loved and remembered.

That's more than enough :)

One of Life's Serendipities

Having lots of friends is cool. It maybe because you're famous or maybe you're an easygoing one. And with me spent times with many different people that I didn't hang much before lately, it makes me realize that maybe I am not that easygoing person and I am fine with it.

Don't get me wrong, I can make friends with someone new. I can be nice to them, but I am not certain to be along with them. Like few days ago, I was asked by one of my hang out friend to hang out with her high school friends. I was in the same high school actually with her friends, but I wasn't at the same class; I took social class while they were in science class, so I felt like an outsider at that time. I had dinner with them at the mall, and yes I was tried to be nice and easygoing as possible. They were my friends and I enjoyed it. It's just...different compared with me hang out my friends.

From there, I am taking a conclusion. I don't need to be famous or easygoing or whatever. All I need is having a few true friends who always there to talk to, share something with, gossiping with. Friends whom I know I can count on anytime and the most important, friends who's going to be there in your darkest day.

I rather have them instead of having tons of friends.

And I thank God that my present boyfriend is happen to be one of my bestest friend. I feel safe with him, I can gossip with him (even it is just a one way gossiping due to he is not quite a gossiper like me (and please do not interpret the word 'gossip' with gossip, my way to gossip is by sharing stories about other people. Period.)), most of all I can count on him to be there for me. I really thank God for this precious invaluable gift :)

I thank God also for few persons who happen to be my best friends on earth. It happened because at some point and some way, they choose you and you choose them through a long time process. It happened because it's one of life's serendipities.

Sadly, you have to be carefully pick and appraise someone before you claim them to be your best friend.

I'm just saying, sometimes and at some point, they are not.