Believe

MERRY CHRISTMASSS TO YOU ALLLL!!!!!!

Wishing you a great moment with your beloved family, friends, and relatives perhaps. :)

Speaking of a word surrender, I remember something Pastor Edwad Supit told us when were at the church last two weeks. He said that (ok, I was distracted by the rain at that time so I don't remember much) sometimes people too much holding the plan, their own plan, so they actually don't know what God's plan for them. They want all the things happens along with their plan without considering maybe the Lord has another plan.

Above all the things in this life, I believe that God or me personally call Him -Lord is the only one who has the power of everything. I believe that something and every little things that happen in this life is allowed by Him. If something or everything not happen in this life, it is also not allowed by Him. He is the power owner, He has control in everything even for the little thing like today is is going to raining or not. But the funny thing is even I know those fact, I can't easily surrender to Him. Most of the time, if I want something to be happened, I keep praying and saying words - asking my plan to be accomplished. I keep asking until I realize that I am tired of it. I am tired of asking. And finally I realize, I am tired controlling my own life and my own agenda. The book I once read, The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren told me that surrender is a hard work. The first time I read those, I said how hard it is? But now I finally realize that yes, surrender is really a hard work. It is not easy to release all your wishes and plans and instead of that you surrender to the Lord who owns my life. But I keep learning to trust Him like this verse in the Bible: (I don't dare to translate it in english so I will write it originally, in Indonesian I mean):

'Percayalah kepada Tuhan dengan segenap hatimu jangan bersandar kepada pengertianmu sendiri. Akuilah Ia dalam segala lakumu, maka Ia akan meluruskan jalanmu.'

That is the verse a pastor from Malaysia once said last sunday. In his preach he said one important thing of all things you need to believe in God is about your soulmate. Well actually he said pasangan hidup but I don't find a proper and fit word to say it. hahaha.

At the very conclusion, the pastor asked us to believe that He will meet you with your soulmate at His right time and His right place. All you have to do is just believe. And to believe, you have to surrender first. And if until today if I am not find my soulmate yet, all I need to have is faith. I believe I have my own soulmate, the one who fits my key, the one who fits my lock. And if the day is come, ......I'm going to tell ya. haohaohaohoahaohoa.=P It is not easy to see that your friends have their couple and you are not. The only problem is I haven't find the best yet. But I keep telling myself that my time will come someday.

I remember I prayed to God once. I said I believe that to find a good man is rare (please do not use your own definition of good here). But please let me have one. I hope it will be come true. :)

And you know what, sometimes when I feel so tired to carry on the problems I have, the best place to cry is in silent, right to Him. That's because He is the one who care a lot. :)

Have a GREAT holiday everyone!!!

I Blame The Rain

Happy Monday everyone! I am blogging again. I just received this comment from someone in facebook,

"sori ni..koq mirip banget ma foto yang ada d webnya RSHU ?..coba deh liat www.husadautamahospital.com

btw med knal.."

His name is Novralta B. Erlangga, a quite complicated name to spell, eh?

Anyway, from the way he asked me that question, it is pretty clear for me that he isn't believe that the photo in Husada Utama Official website is me. Well I tell you, the photo in that website is truly me. 100% me. It is me who posed like a doctor in that website. Not only in the website, my face is in everywhere. In posters for their Patient Safety Seminar and in their Nov-Dec edition Magazine. I posed as a nurse, as a patient, as a doctor. In that magazine and in that website, I can be anyone. And for the return, I've got a good score for my internship. Quite fair, rite? hahahaha. And oh I tell you, being a model, isn't really comfortable for me. I have to pose here pose there, pose for a couple seconds, pose with different pose for a couple seconds, and so on. I wasn't enjoy it. And I was sleepy at that time. Gee.. But still, having my internship at Husada Utama is really a great experience.

On the other side, yesterday is my first day I am going to the church after weeks since I have to struggling with K (I pass this stuffff!!!!!! hoahoahoahoahoahoahoa). So I went with Fenny and it was raining. It was raining and the flood is everywhere. I got stuck in the car and I can not go out from my car because of the flood for maybe 45 minutes. I blame the rain and the flood for the 45 minutes late. Reagan's car was in front of me at the time when we decided to leave the church and go eat somewhere (I still blame the rain and the flood for this). But a second before we decided to leave, I said to Fenny that maybe we need to listen to some praise and worship songs, hoping a miracle that soon we will get a dry parking space. So I turned my iPod and play Hillsong's With All I am song. It's a joke actually. But a miracle is really happened! I got this dry and new parking space!!! I called Reagan and tell him to park his car next to mine. But the adventure wasn't stop there. Me, Fenny, Reagan, and Eoh had to walk to the church under our own umbrella, try to avoid the rain and the flood. The result? Our shoes are completely wet. Our jeans completely wet, us...completely wet. The pastor who preached yesterday was Pastor Edward Supit. He is me and Jackson's favorite pastor. He preached well actually. But the rain and the flood and the 45 minutes-waiting-in-the-car stuff kind of distracted my concentration. The funny thing about yesterday is: me, Fenny, and Eo..we all in the same color of clothes..yellow.

taken by: Reagan W. Kusuma

At the end, it still good to see them all. :)

Another plan: Watch The Day When The Earth Stood Still with whoever, revise the K and then submit them this Friday, make appointment to hang out with Joel and friends, and go to Dewi's sister 17th Birthday Party this Saturday and find her a present.

Twilight = Cute Vampire

Twilight is awesome! Well at least for girls. At least for me and Luce. hahaha.

One or two things I like from Twilight are:

1. The vampire is cute.
2. The vampire is cool.
3. The vampire is really really super sweet to this girl Bella.
4. The whole vampire family is nice and welcoming.
5. The baseball game a la vampire is nonsense but incredible.

It is actually a classic film about a vampire fall in love in human. The first time I heard about this movie, all I think about is this is kind of Buffy the vampire slayer type of film. Nothing something. Buffy fall in love with Angel (which Angel is really handsome too) but there is nothing special about the movie. I can't spesifically tell what's that something special about this movie but I think me and Luce and some other girls being excited after watched this movie is a proof that this movie is good, for girls. One thing I noticed was this vampire Edward is really care for Bella. He really sweet and he did many of things that make me and Luce feel like melting or something. And then, me and Luce come up with one conclusion: if there is a guy as sweet as Edward in real life, we won't bother the vampire blood that runs through his vein. haohaohoahoahaohaoa. Thank God there is no such like a vampire in this life. Or at least I never heard about that. ehehe. :p

Anyway, I went to the mall today and IDEKO just opened! If you are in Surabaya, you will know that IDEKO is a store that sells interior, decoration, and home equipment just like Floral Home or Vinoti. But what I love the most from it is the store decoration itself. It is very homey, very-very..whatever. They design every corner with different concept. In one corner, they put the kitchen equipment WITH the real kitchen in it. It is like they want to show us and give us ideas about how you are going to decorate your kitchen with their stuffs. And since I loooveeeeee everything about interior and home decoration, I really loooveeeee to stay there as long as possible. Believe me, my favorite store isn't SOGO or Charles and Keith. My favorite stores are supermarkets and stores like IDEKO, Floral Home, ACE Hardware, the places I can find unique home decoration and things like that.

p.s: I can't understand men. I can't understand men especially above my age. I have best friends which are men but I still don't get this one. Gosh.

Time Will Tell

Gud nite everyone! It is cold and rainy here, which is good because I like rain and I like cold better than hot and kemarau season. :D

Anyway, on of my best friend said to me once recently,

" What am I suppose to do to forget him???"

She said that sentence over and over again to me so I have no clue what am I suppose to do either to make her feel better. The first time she said that, I told her this: "You can't wish that in the moment you want those feeling to be gone, then it is gone. It takes time to be gone. Time will heal, time will tell. Just keep on moving this life. If those pain and those feeling still there, maybe it is suppose to be there somehow. I believe that everything has its own limit. And someday, you will reach that limit when you feel tired to have those hopeless and painful feeling, by then, the feeling will be gone by itself. Pushing it too hard just make everything worse. "

I am not being wise here, but at least that's what believe and that's what did happened to me years ago. I can't push a feeling to be gone. If that happen, I am no longer human. huahauhau. Yes it is true that if you have feeling for someone who don't love you back, it's hurt..it's painful. If you can not be with someone you really love, that's hurt too. But you can't just wish you don't have that feeling and you wish that you will be fine in a blink of an eye. You have to get through it, no matter how hard it is. But the good thing is, I believe that everything including everyone have its own limit. Someday, you will feel tired to keep carry on those feeling in your heart plus if the time is right, the feeling will be gone. You will fall in love again and sure you will be loved in return.

Well once again, that's my theory. We will see if this theory of mine is going to work on her. :)

On the other side, last Wednesday I went to House of Lea, the place where Ce Veronica (Reagan's sister who soon will get married) will do the make up and fitting the wedding gown. I went there because I am going to be the bridemaid for her!! :D I tried several gown and voila I got this one gown. It is yellow sampanye color and it's beautiful! It's perfect. Tres Bien. I love that gown and I can not wait to wear it this December 27th. Plus, this is the first time I will see myself wearing a gown, a reaall one for a reeaalll wedding celebration.

Can not wait! :D

Next plan: Go hang out with old friends, watch Twilight and Bold, submit the hard cover internship report, submit the revision for kolokium, fitting the gown one more time, go hang out with Fritz and Pratama, find out what happen with my DVD ROM, find a birthday gift for him, dye my hair, find the next episode of Brothers and Sisters, go and eat ayam tulang lunak Malioboro - Hachi-hachi - The Duck King - The Rock, and wait for the transporter 3.

I Did It!!! Yay!!!!

Monday, December 01, 2008 1.30 pm is my most memorable time in this year. Because in that time,

I FINALLY PASS THE KOLOKIUM STUFF!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHA..

oye.oye.oye.

I am soooo excited, happy, full of joy, full of happiness, and relieve. ahakahakahak. Finally, after a long way road and a long struggle I can pass this whole nightmare. It also means no more paper, no more books, no more stressful, no more pain in the ass. hehe. Yesterday, right after I got home from campus, the first thing I did was collect all my papers and books, put the books in the drawer and throw away the papers into the bin. So pai-pai my tons of books and papers and welcome holiday and fun! Thank you Lord for the chance, thank you my friends for all the supports: Yuni, Lili, Vonny, Vipe, Nita, Long-long, Novita, Delfi, Eunike, Fritz, Fenny, Luce, Jack, and others. I do thank you! :) I also want to say a lot of GOOD LUCK to the rest of you who still have to fight the kolokium thing, all the best for ya!

Meanwhile, let have a lot of good time this holiday. But speaking of holiday, I assume there will be a lot of have fun go mad acivities like go out with your friends. Lucy is here and so the others so it is like a perfect time to do the reunion. Well, not reunion actually.Just meet, greet, and share stories and just simply do a lot of fun together. When I was about putting some photos to my ipod (thanks to luce), I saw that old photos of mine with my friends from elementary schoolmates reunion, high school reunion, New year's eve BBQ party, and a lot more. It really awake me, remind me of every details how I really-really used to be there, used to be in that time, used to be with them in that time and in that place in that very moment. I realize then that each photo is just a part of the memory that we can recall. It already happened, and all we can do is just play it back...in our head, in our memory. But I never forget that I used to have a good time with them, and for me it is enough to keep that in mind. :)

Oh..I miss my friends..huhuhu.

Anyway, I want to say thank you once again to Luce, for the too late or too soon birthday gift: An ipod Nano (red edition it is!! :D) Muchas Gracias Luce!

Again, have a lot of luck for all my kolokium fighters, may God be with you.

HAPPY HOOOOOOLIIIDAAAY ALL!!!!!!!!! Have a lot of fun. Ciao!