Die Kolokium Die!!

Happy sunday all. I hope that this day is just going well, not like mine, which mine is a disaster weekend because I have to submit again my proposal for my K class. And this time, the second periode give us a little time, so little time to prepare and submit the proposal. I have to change my topic and so on, and I am stuck in the middl because I don't how exactly I can get an idea for my K topic only in 3 days. I's so dead this time. So this sunday, when I suppose to go to the church and have fun, have a day off - I end up sit in front my computer doing nothing but chat, friendstering, and goggling. Well, I try to work on it, but it is look like my brain don't want to cooperate or something plus my whole body is in pain, and I am tired, exausted,and I can't do something about it all. Yesterday, I have to be a bride LO again for Jubilee with Lili and I work from morning until almost 12 midnight. So my legs are hurt, my back is in pain, and my brain is demonstrating me. I feel dead today. And I think I force myself too much.
This whole K thing is almost kill me. One day, I feel tired enough and I feel like I want to give up. I start to say what if I give up and I don't want to continue this damn whole thing anymore? But the I come to a thought which said that what will you do if you stop? And my other thought said..well, get married. hahaooaoahoa.
But then I decide not to give up. All I need is a time out. But my dearest lectures have a problem with that request, I guess.
I see a quite interesting thing from me and my friends who fight with me in K class. We are in the same class, we fight the thing, and we struggle together. We have different topics, but here what catch my attention. We are in the same concentration: Corporate Communication, but each of us have our own interest. I have my interest in marketing communication and corporate communication. No matter how hard I try, I have no heart in Organizational Communication or Cultural Communication. But Vipe has her intereat in cultural communication and Nita has her interst in Organizational. Lili loves Media Relations, and Yuni loves Crisis Communication. We are all have our own interest and maybe specialty. So do human. Every of us has our own talent. And that's perhaps, which make each of us rare and special.
Ah..ebough talking, back to work.
I really-really need a time out right now. Gee..

MovingFoward

Hola everyone! Hope everything still going well, eventhough the economic situation doesn't say so. But just try to be happy. Happy is a good feeling. Like meee...eventhough my presentation was a nightmare, but I'm quite in a good condition and in a good feeling. hoahaohaoha.. Well, maybe that's because I have the other good news to cover my biiiggg dissapointment about the K thing. ehehehe.. Well, at least I'm fine. After the long-torturing weekends I spent for this K thing, I think I need to relax for a little while. So I start with hangout with my dearest bestest friend Jack, just to forget everything bad and spent a time to share about anything with him. I love hanging around with him. He is a good friend and I value him a lot. Everyone who never know us see that we could be in a more-than-a-friend condition. But I really hope that he could be my best friend forever. I don't want more or less than that, believe me.

The next day I spent my weekend with Yuni and Eunike, which is it's like a reunion after months because Yuni and Eunike went to Jakarta for their internship before.

Then the next next day, I went to the church with my ond friends Dewi, Jackson, Reagan, and Eo. Ahhh...I always love to see them.

So that's how I spent my weekend last weekend, by meeting, talking, sharing, eating (I ate a lot. I run out energy for months so this is a good timing to, you know, put my energy back to my body ), walking, and doing anything I don't care. I just need a refreshment before I get back to the next K class this week.

Recenty, I tried one or two or maybe many-many things that I never did before. I am moving on. Well, it doesn't mean that I'm not moving not before this, but this time...I really-really act moving on. I did things people do when they move on. And the most important thing is I made myself make a breakthrough, a big one, that I never made before. If you remember my latest entry about someone over my age and my social life, that's what I'm talking about. It is not easy, but I think I made it step by step. I'm not decide yet, I don't dare yet. But I think when I am sure about this whole two different world stuffs and I am ready to face what I'm suppose to face, I know what decision I am going to make.

So thank you to many-many persons for keeping my thought on the right track, and always supporting me in many different ways (include you Jack, which your first reaction is very-very "helping". haha. Anyway, thanks.) I still wish I'm choosing the right not the wrong.

Anyway, my monitor is new. Yayyy!!! And I start to enjoy my internship. Today, my mentor in the office offered me a job in Husada Utama. But what a shame, I'm not graduate yet, so I have to postpone that. I end up my internship officially this wednesday. I'm going to miss HU and the people there and I hate to say goodbye. I will miss Mbak Niken, Mbak Erna, Mbak Sandra, Mbak Wiwik, Mbak Mirna, Pak Nyo, Dr. D, Dr. D's son - Zacky - he is a cccuuuttteee little boy (Gosh, I love that kid very much), Dr. Sawitri, Dr. Koemala, Dr. Heru, Dr. Hartoyo, Dr. Sony, Bu Sari, Bu Santi, Pak Reza, and so on. They are great and nice to me. Very very nice to me. And I am so thankful for that.

Oohhh I still hate to say goodbye. I hate goodbyes. huhuhuhu.

I capture my last day in the Husada Utama

MyPreciousMonitor

I don't know what happen with me recently, but it is like all the wrong things just come up to me all in one same time. Remember the virus (damn you virus) that took away my precious kolokium files? The next day after the incident, I found out that MY MONITOR...MY PRECIOUS MONITOR IS JUST... R.I.P. I don't know what happen and the important thing is whhhhhyyy...why you, the monitor, choose to end your life in the crucial timing like this??? Aaaaarrrghh....hate you monitor, damn you monitor, screw you monitor!! The monitor finally getting better after 5 hours later. But the brightness isn't very bright or you can call it dark. Imagine this, just adjust your brightness function in your monitor into the darkest level. Then voila, that's exactly the condition of my monitor's brightness now. I think I need a new monitor. I have to have a new monitor. So pai-pai old monitor, and welcome new monitor I don't know when. I need to finish my kolokium stuff first which btw, this friday is my preciouskolokium presentation day. Oh..My...God.
I put all my efforts, my energy, my thoughts, my all..to this K thing. So I just hope everything is going well, as I hope. As I do really-really hope.
After that monitor incident, my bad luck isn't just stop there. I found out later that I run out the paper and then I found out that I run out the ink. This whole K thing is killing me softly. Now I catch a cold, my head is dizzy, my throat hurt, and I still have a presentation to go on Friday. And I'm not prepare yet. Poor me.

Speaking of a new topic, Bu sari, a doctor administrative officer in Husada Utama said to me today about an age difference between a man and a women in a relationship. She said that a man with a big difference in age with a women (in a relationship context) will have a better understanding, will have a better care for his wife rather than a man with an equal or small difference in age with his wife. He will be more mature and financially mature. Well she said all that stuff to me with a "purpose"" of course. But it lead me to a thought in my head, and I realize it maybe true. If you marry someone with an equal or less or more age, you probably will get fight a lot, you argue a lot, because you have your ego and so does your couple. But if you marry someone let say, 10 years difference at age, he will be more...in Javanese you call it ngemong. What is ngemong in english btw?

But the strange thing is when I realize this is true, my other logic thought can not accept that. Well, maybe that's because I've surrounded by men and women at my age. But when it is time for me to meet someone far from my age, my society circle, my 21 age life - which the time is now - then it is time for to decide too. I know I have to fight the battle in my thought which is very hard to beat. Very hard. I don't know where it could be end up, but I hope everytime I make a decision, I make a right decision. Because I know, one I make a decision, it will lead me to a big step of my life and I will never be able to look back.

I'm dizzy.dizzy.dizzy.dizzy.dizzy.dizzy.dizzy.dizzy.dizzy.dizzy

MYPRECIOUSKOLOKIUM

First of all, Happy Lebaran for those who celebrate. Maapkan.maapkan.maapkan segala kesalahan saya selama ini.hoahaohoa.

I don't know why, I feel like I'm not in the mood to write anything except of my K proposal. Next week is my dead week, because I have to do the presentation so I feel like I really-really not in the mood to do anything unimportant. Well, that's my real deal from me to myself. But the fact said the opposite. I didn't touch the computer even friendster for almost a week and by that fact, it meant I never touch my proposal at all. ehehehe.

This is the first day since weeks ago I touch the keyboard, ready to work on my proposal, prepare anything for next week.ow yeah. fight!

But this morning when I want to open my kolokium folder in my flash disk, I found something shocking and reallu really make me dead. I lost all the forders in the FD and that include my kolokium folders!!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaa......!!!!!!! This must be because of virus from..I don't know from where eating my folders....

MYPRECIOUSKOLOKIUMFOLDER...

HUHUHUHUHUHUHUHUHU.

My God..I'm so dead.

Whhyyyy....whyyyy from all those files in my FD, you choose to eat the most important precious godly holly kolokium files???? The other scary fact is I have to submit my final proposal by next monday. I'm double dead. I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm d.e.a.d.

Later like there is a light bulp above my head, I check my back up files in my D drive anddddd TING!! thank God I, by luck still have the back up files eventhough it's not the latest update files. ahakahakahak. At least I do not need to work from the very start. If it happen, maybe I will scream and call everyone I can call just to grumble about this big loss in my academic life.

Die you virus. Hate you virus. Screw you virus. Damn you virus.

%$@$@$#%^#$#$%#%#!!!!

So this is me taking a break from my almost-loss-of-my-kolokium-files-in-my-FD-shock-therapy. I just pray that there is nothing happen with my computer until next week, so I can finish and prepare my presentation well. Ossshh..

These weeks, my head is just like evaluate something which relate with boyfriend/girlfriend and husband/wife thing. I heard so many stories which said that in the time you were in a realtionship with a girl or a boy, he or she will be nice to you. You only see the good side of her/him. But after ou getting married, unfortunately all you see is just the real side of your couple, which sometimes you can't juts accept it. So it's kind of shock in the time you realize the truth. Then the anger, the fights, and the divorce word come out just that easily.

So I've been analyze this situation. What's wrong? who is wrong? And what to be fixed to make those kind of situation never happen again especially for me?

So I come up with conclusion which is for me it is work (and hopefully it is work), that we don't need to pretend to be someone else to impress the one we love. Love accept everything we are and that include our weaknesses. If you don't accept the bad thing, then the love isn't complete. It isn't love. Just be yourself and be your truly self.

One more thing I know is we marry a person not based on how rich his family is, how handsome or beautiful he or she is, how gifts he or she ever give you. It will all gone by time.

We marry a person based on how faithful he/she is, how kind and how he/she honor us, how he/ she tell and show that he/she loves you through the way he/she treats you and how he/she make you feel everyday.

Someone worth enough to be by your side, through thick and thin, and be a happy couple forever.

And those kind of search.....never easy to be found. So lucky you, if you already found it. Treasure it well. =)

p.s:

1. F1 Singapore is rocks! So stupid of Massa, he lost it all in a blink of eyes.

2. I watched the Pursit of Happyness yesterday, and I was a good film. It said...if everything fails, count yourself and yourself only. Don't let someone tell you that you can't do anything. You can do anything.

3. I listened to this song a lot recently, A man who can't be moved. This is a good song with stupid yet loveable lyric. But I wonder if there is a man who actually do that in the real life.

A man who can't be moved lyric

4. Finallyyyyyyy, I have my own SIM and I have my new KTP. hip hip huraaayy!

5. Chuck season 2 is coming!! oww yeah.

6. I watched a korean film titled A man once a superman. I got this from Vipe (you can read the entire story of the film in her blog: We're all can be a superman), this is a really good movie. It said that no need t have a superpower to be a superman or friends of superman like batman, robin,wonder women, or else. All you need is a superheart inside of you. Superheart enough to help others, not a big help but every little things around us. I like the wonder women lasso scene in that film. Oh..I will tell you later. I enough talking here.

Gotta go! Happy holiday all!