Different

Haiii good day everyone! It's November 5th and it's Novi and my brother's birthday, so HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU TWOO!!!!! all the best for you always.

Being different or doing something different or even maybe going through something different is not that easy to get through. I mean, if you going through something that different or not sound like familiar to your society, then you really-really need to have courage in yourself to keep going through what you are going through right now.

What I'm trying to say is I am going through, doing through, walking through something different than my society right now. And really it is not easy to get through it because it is not familiar or you can call it lazim in Indonesia (please don't intepret that I am going through something bad or weird, believe me I am not). I asked so many people about this and they gave me different opinions, each of them. Some of them said they good things even encourage me, which is good. But some of them react negatively at the first time they heard about my story and some of them react still negatively after that anyway. But at some point, I feel tired to hear all their opinions. Not because I don't like to hear what they say about this, it is just tiring.

They say so many things to me and especially to my head, and my thought is like being played by all those different opinions. Sometimes I agree sometimes I don't. Sometimes it make me have courage sometimes it is not. Sometimes I scared sometimes I don't.

And then I realize that I heard too much. I am afraid that if someday I have to make a decision, an important one, and I still heard those different opinions, my decision could be a decision that it's not what I really-really want - what myself really-really want.

So I start to close my ear, just being deaf for a moment. It doesn't mean that I am being stuborn then, but I just really-really want to think about it myself, to figure that this is really-really what I want, because this is me who going through this - not other people. This is my life and I know what the best for me.

People can say anything, opinions differ. But it is my life after all. So it is myself who I need to listen to.

Of course the consequence is that I need to have faith to get through what I already decided. It is not easy, but that the fact of life..you still need to move on. Every decision comes with consequences. If you already decide, then you have to accept the consequences too. That's a life's law. Sometimes it's not easy especially when you stuck in the middle of two or more decisions, which whatever the decision you make will lead you to some bad consequences.

But if you're not decide, your life is not moving on. You are not win or you are not lose. So if you have to face a decision, then decide it. But accept those with the consequences.

Anyway, yesterday was a good day. I went to Tretes with some of my friends and it was really really a one fine escape moment. The weather is good, the scenery is wonderfully beautiful, and the food is awesome. I went to this pondok? gubuk? I don't know what to call but this place has the best seafood in East Java. Well, not all seafood, actually they only have kepiting, udang, and ikan gurame. But those gurame and udang are great. awesome. tasty. Whatever you may call it. My favorite is gurame bakar madu and their udang bakar madu. Awesome.awesome.awesome.

Ooo...I've got an update. The name of the restaurant a la gubuk is Mang engking. Weird name, but wonderful food inside. Worth to try. Yuuuummmm..

Myself and Lili at The Taman Dayu - so damn beautiful (I mean The Taman Dayu.hehe)