Prayers

Have you ever feel so worry about something like you think you are the only one who could save youself? Like there is no one there to help you and you almost think that if you can not do this or you can not fix this or you can not reach this, no one can. I did. And it was a horrible feeling. I torture myself with those kind of worry feeling inside me and sadly, sometimes I don't realize it. I worry about my K thing too much (well you can ask Nita, she is the one who knew how panic and worry I was. uahuahuahua), I worry about my future plan that I planned and I'm afraid it won't be a reality. I worried about many else. Then here come the rescue for me, the priest or whatever you may call it in my church last sunday talked about worries. He quoted Matthew 6: 25 about worries. The priest, Pdt. Paulus Bambang is an ordinary man. But as he talk, I know this masn isn't that ordinary. He is a vice president of PT. United Tractors which it is a biiiigg company in Indonesia. And I'm kind of surprise because that kind of company has a great vice president who also a priest. Something I rarely found or perhaps it is me who never heard that kind of thing in my life. haha

Anyway, Mr. Paulus told us not to worry about everything that happen in our life. He, God, know what happen with you and He do care for you. So we don't need to worry about one or two or maybe million things in front of us, because look at the verse at Matthew, He even take care the birds in the sky! So I end up with cry that day, feeling so sorry to Him, realizing that all this time I was too worried about something to another something. I wasted my energy, my thought, my everything, and the most important I felf like I waste God.

I forgot about Him.

One more thing the pastor said to all of us that night, say right, think right, and do right.

You must say right by keep saying thank you for the belssing God gave you. You msut think right that God is care for you and He know everything that you face, and you must do right - keep doing right even everything or evetyone surround you do the opposite.

Once again! I don't try to preach here. I'm not good at it, believe me. hahahaa. All I want to say is, except that you are atheis or something, God is exist and sometimes we forget that. We work hard, we keep struggle and stress up about one problem and we think that we are on our own. We are not on our own. There is someone watching over us. The only problem is sometimes we don't realize it that soon.

On the other story, last week I visited NICU ( it is like an ICU, but this is for babies who have serious problems and need an intensive care) and there was twins!! Baby boy twins who are really really cute and lovely. They are very small and very awesome! I wish I could put on of them in my arm but I think I will get a slap from the nurse rather than have my wish come true. hoahoahoahoahaha. But poor the baby because one of them have to wear like repiratory or something to help their lungs develope perfectly. The baby cried so loud because he feel hurt and not comfortable with the machine, and when the baby cried, all I did was walk away from the incubator right away. (Ok, I start to confuse about the grammar. hahaha. OMG dragon.)

Now I believe the words that said that how miracle it is a mother deliver a baby into the world.

A human being from a human being.

At the end of my hospital walking that day, I saved a little time to pray - a silent pray- for the twins, wishing them a great future and life. I think I need to start, to save a little more time to pray - a silent pray - for more people around me, because who know, those silent prayers heard by God and who know, those silent prayers end up blessing other people.

p.s: my K examination is near. OMG. (_ _") My internship will be over in a month. oooowww yeaaaah!

haha..I just got this in my email:

AQUARIUS - The Sweetheart (Jan 20 - Feb 18) Optimistic and honest. Sweet personality. Very independent. Inventive and intelligent. Friendly and loyal. Can seem unemotional. Can be a bit rebellious. Very stubborn, but original and unique. Attractive on the inside and out. Eccentric personality.

What do you think?