My Mom Is My Hero

First of all....there is no Mr. Octopus today. haohaohaooahuahuahuahaha. One of the Marketing staff, Ms. Niken has a job for me today to produce an employee bulletin. And it means I have to collect news and information about the hospital and the employees, make the layout in Publisher, and produce it! This is going to be my work of art. My first masterpiece or whatever.hhauhauhuahuahua.

Today I am going to the emergency room to ask several questions about what is the emergency room, who's in charge, and other informations. And I am find out that emergency room is a very cool unit. I mean, they have a hard task to diagnose what's wrong with the patient or in the other word, the life of the patient is in their hand in the first time the patient arrive to the hospital. Emergency room is the first gate for the patient if they are looking for help. I was there for one hour or more, asked them about the emergency room and the procedure, and of course they are very lovely. They show me around the emergency room, they show me the tools they usually use to save the patient, they show me the devibrator if I am not wrong -- you know -- a machine to shock the patient's heart with electricity or something (you can see it in Greys' Anatomy. They did it a lot in their scenes), they show me a small room for the small operation, and so on.

Then they told me that sometimes they meet people die in the emergency room. And it make me think about the death itself. I remember I imagine that in the bed in front of me that time, there was a man or a women with his/her half-past-dead life, fighting and struggling with their own body. And then I imagine that his/her family was there, well..the first purpose of course to accompany the patient. But all you can do is just crying or praying maybe, hoping for some miracle, waiting for the doctor and the nurses doing their job.

I just like telling myself that time that death is inevitable - impossible to avoid. Someday, we are going to meet death.

And this is my point of concern at that time:

When I was being a guestbook and angpao keeper in the wedding events, I can see that the grandmother or the grandfather of the bride and the groom was there, share some happiness and togetherness for their grandchildren. I was there and I realize that I will never have that chance, to see my grandmothers and my grandpas there watch me marry a man of my dream someday. They already died. And what I regret the most from it is I never have a chance, a really-really chance, to spend my time with them. Deep down in my heart right now, I miss them. I love them. And I really want to have a chance one more time to be in their side and being their grand daughter for the very last time. Maybe they can't hear me anymore, maybe they can't speak clearly anymore, maybe they can't walk -- I don't mind. I just want to be their grand daughter one more time. I just want to be there, sit near them, serve them, give my respect for them, and say I love you. But I know I will never have that chance again.

I know that the only way I could make it up is just by do the same thing I want to do to my mother. I've lost my father almost eight years ago and once again I rarely have a chance to have a father and daughter time.

My mother is the only one I have left. And I know, I really-really know that I shouldn't do the same mistake I did. She is my hero and she is my saviour. She teach me everything that I couldn't learn myself or I couldn't get in school. She teaches me, angry to me, loves me, cares for me, she saves me, she helps me, she punishes me, she is patient with me, she is fighting for me, she is sacrificing anything for me, she is there for me everytime I need her. She is all I have.

It is just not about my mother. I am speaking about the people we love. It is useless if you say that you love them after a person who suppose to hear that already dead. Or it is useless if you feel love them but they never have a chance to hear it from you. It is also useless to feel that you love them, but you never show it. That is why I never shy or I never feel embarrassed to say it out loud the 'I love you' or 'I do care for you' words. I will say thank you - I will say I love you with all my heart - You are precious for me -- and I am mean it. When I say I am wishing you the best, well..it means I am wishing you the best. It means I pray for you, ask from God to bless and watching over you. I will hug them, I will lean my hand in their shoulder just so they know that I do mean with what I said.

Because our time on earth is priceless. We don't know when we die or when they people we love die. It could be now, it could be tomorrow, it could be years later. Only God knows. But the thing is, people do make mistake. They think they can say what they feel to one person and give testimonial about a person later, after that person died. The truth is a death person can't hear anything. So who you speak with?

No one.