Rolex vs Casio

Good sunday everyone!!! This is me again, blogging after a while.

My weekend yesterday consist of two parts. First part, I spent my weekend with Lili, Eunike, and her fiance (yes fiance) at PTC. The second part is, I spent my "after-weekend" at Sutos with Lili, her brother, and her entire cousins related family. To be honest, this last weekend is become my 'off-limit weekend'. I spent my time at PTC until 10 and after that I joined the family until 01.30. In the morning. Yeah.. that's really-really my off limit weekend. :D

For me, there is a difference between when you spend your time hangin' out with your friends and when you spend your time with an older person or people. With friends, most of the time you will have fun and companion. But on the other side - with older people, you are more will get some advice and experiences about life or about the problems we have in life. Like I got yesterday, I spent my day with Eunike and her fiance. As a man above my age, Eunike's fiance draw me a picture about the way most of men think. Well, as you know that man and women are the opposite of each other and sometimes we get stuck in it. They gave me a lot of suggestions, stories, and support and I really appreciate that.

At Sutos, once again I spent my time with some older people. Lili's counsins are married and they told me a looott of things about everything, but especially about a relationship between a man and a women. I conclude most of them here:

1. In the time you have a relationship with a guy, you have to make sure that you are happy. If you already crying out loud because of him or for him, you better leave him behind. "Pacaran" is the time when you are loved and wanted by him not the opposite.
2. The maximum age for a women to get married is 28. More than that is a red sign warning. But the perfect number is 24.
3. If a guy leave you without some assurance, you better ask him straight the face. If he still don't give you a certainty, you better leave him - right away.
4. There are differences between when you still in relationship and when you already married. The example they gave me is this: if you fall because of something, maybe your boyfriend will say "be careful dear". But if you already married and you still fall anyway, maybe he will say "watch your eyes!!". hahahaha. So yea, lucky you, if you're not experience that.
5. The last thing is probably the best encouragement suggestion: sebelum janur kuning melengkung, berarti masih ada kesempatan. hahahahaha..:D

After all, I've got this beautiful quote from the book Eunike bought yesterday, more or less has a meaning like this:

What you willing to let go will decide what God can give you in return

Apa yang bersedia kamu lepaskan akan menentukan apa yang Tuhan akan berikan kepadamu

The book said that the good is the enemy of the better. The better is the enemy of the best. So if you hold on to what you have right now even if you know it's not suit you, it mean that you are blocking God's way to give you the better, or even the best one.

Like one of my friend said, if you can have a Rolex quality to be in your partner for life, why you have to satisfy with Casio? :)

Guilty

I feel guilty. I feel sorry. I feel terrible for everything about this one problem. I have this "good friend" and we met at the hospital when I was working on my internship. I have a good impression on him, he is a very patient man and from some observations and testimonials, I can almost sure that he is really nice. And for me personally, he represents a high quality of man if you are looking for a high quality husband.

On the other side, one thing I barely stand is curiousity. And this "good friend" of mine gave me that for weeks. Well I can't tell everything here since it's online and it means everyone can read everyone will know (hahahahahaha). I have to admit too that the most negatif side in me is that I am a negative thinker. I don't know why, but everytime I know lessabout something, all I can think is negatif negatif negatif. And I know it's killing me, so that is why I need someone to straight it up my mind and the way I think. Thank you to my friends especially Lili, she is the one who helps me the most to straighten' my mind in my darkest moment.

Curiousity + negative thinking = another self-killing factor beside cancer and stuffs like that.

So, I've been tortured for weeks, busy guessing the reason behind my "good friend" unstable act. I was too afraid too ask because I was afraid of the answer. And along with that, I've been tortured by my negative mindset. It's killing me.It's killing me. It's killing me.

Short story, I did finally asked him questions related to what's killing me softly and I was shocked. I felt much guilty and most of all I felt sorry for him. I accused him not right in many terms and meanings without even try to think that maybe he has a reason for his unstable act. And yes he has a reason which make me feel bad until this very moment. He was in a relationship for five years with someone and he said he loved this someone so much. He spent a lot of time with her, never stayed for long at home just to be with her all the time. At one time, the girl left the town to Jakarta and they had a long distance relationship. One year later, the girl called just to break the relationship without any reason and start to ignore him. She even said that she is going to get married.

Right after I heard the story, I can't say anything even to myself. Suddenly I didn't want to be there where I talked to him. Slowly but sure, I finally can see everything more clearer. Maybe he have a trauma or something, I don't know. But sure it hurted him so much. And the most of all, I feel so ashamed to myself. I talked once about the quote in Harper Lee's To Kill a Mocking Bird book, about you can't completely understand someone until you see everything from their point of view, until you slip into their skin and walk the life with their own way. As you can see, I failed to do that. I failed to considering his reason behind everything and I just judged him with my own version. Even the judgement is only in my mind, it's enough to make me ruined myself.

Beside, I don't understand why the women did that to him. With no explanation and with cold hearted, she just dumped him right away. He is a good man - a really good man, and for me, he didn't deserve that. He still don't deserve it at all.

All in all, I finally can see beyond the eyes. To looking for a person to spend your life with, it doesn't always require her/his physical stuff. At the end, what matter the most is his/her heart - how beautiful is he/she inside, not outside.

p.s: I like quotes in the book, it's really inspiring. And the story of the book itself, it's beautiful.

Hepi Niu Yerrr 2009

Hepi New Yearrrr...Hepi New Yearrrr............!!!! Happy New Year 2009 to you all. We might don't know what is going to happen in this 2009 year, but first we must feel thankful for everything we had in 2008. And I do hope that we will get a better life and will become a better person. :)

It's been a long time since I wrote my last post. And that's because I have a lot of things happened. On December 27th, like I said in the earlier post, I became a bridemaid for Reagan's sister wedding. And if you remember my first impression about become a bridemaid was: excited and can not wait any longer.

So this is my post-impression and comment about became a bridemaid: almost exhausted.

Well, it's not because I wasn't enjoy myself become a bridemaid ; I still love the dress and the hair do, it is just never pass in my mind that if you become a bridemaid, the tiredness, the sleppyness, and the exhausted part is equal to the bride. So if I can take a conclusion here, being a bridemaid = become the bride herself! I slept at 23.30 and have to wake up at 03.00 in the next morning. Next I have to wait approx. 5 1/2 hours only for the make up, and not stop until the wedding reception. I even almost fell asleep at the church!! Geezz..

This is why, I don't like become a party host, especially this kind of party. Wedding I mean.

All I can think about this non-stop one day ritual of wedding is why the bride which supposely have to enjoy herself in the middle of her party, have to torture herself by wake up at 3 o'clock in the morning only fot the make up and hair do and hardly to enjoy herself in her own party at night??

Some said to me that moment like wedding is just come up once in a lifetime. But still, for me it is like torturing myself - once in a lifetime. Can it be simplified or something?

I don't need a big party which you can invite maybe a thousand people there ~ like I will recognize those thousand people. I am dreaming of a simple but nice wedding, which I truly recognize the people I invite (ok, which me and my husband to-be are going to invite). I will pick and wear a simple but nice wedding gown, simple but nice wedding hair do and make up (eww.. I hate make up) , simple and nice wedding party celebration. The conclusion is: I want to enjoy my own wedding moment!! I want to laugh and smile to the people I really know - the people I love, I want to share my special moment - my once in a lifetime moment - with them.

Well, that's my perfect wedding imagination if you ask me. hahahahhaa.

Anyway, have good days and I reaaallly hope this year will be better in everything for us. :D

HAPPY NEEEEWWW YEAAAARRR ALL!!!!!!